We’re celebrating a happy birthday with dear friends. Not every culture celebrates these mile markers of life’s journey, but Americans have traditionally done so. This, I suspect, is related to optimistic expectations about our future.

Some birthdays demarcate an important change in life status. The twelfth birthday is associated with Christian confirmation and the thirteenth for the Jewish bar (or bat) mitzvah. The sixteenth is the usual age for a driver’s license, an exceptionally important rite of passage. Ramona and I drove farm tractors at ten, even on our rural roads, but not cars or pickups until 16.

Eighteen is the minimum age for joining the U.S. armed forces, and since 1984 for voting. Also in 1984, Congress passed The National Minimum Drinking Age Act. This act mandated age 21 as the minimum and is enforced by a loss of federal highway funds. There is an exception for religious ceremonies.

Children, and young people generally, look forward to birthdays in anticipation of receiving gifts. This makes sense for most children face real budget constraints. Pity those who do not for they are likely to suffer much later.

For most Americans, and those in western nations more generally, the period from WWII until recently was a time of exploding material wellbeing. This continued a process begun in the late eighteenth century, say 1776. A conjunction of ever-improving technology, a changed culture that respects entrepreneurship and the rule of law, and better economic coordination together generated an ever-growing cornucopia. People were rewarded for increasing rather than transferring wealth.

Respected economic historians such as D. McCloskey (and I believe all others) say that on average we are at least 16 and perhaps 40 times as well off as our ancestors were in 1800—wherever they were. However, wealth in material goods, the things most easily and accurately measured, is not what matters most for satisfaction and wellbeing.

Certain specified ages bring specific opportunities, driving at 16 for example. Other significant transformations are amorphous in time—or may never come to some unfortunate individuals. They may suffer bad luck, have destructive habits, select a sorry career path, or make a poor marriage choice. People can make decisions likely to yield failure.

However, most Americans on some middle age birthday are blessed to realize some version of this condition: “There is nothing wrong with my life that more money would fix.” The next progression is only a small step: “Nothing I could buy would bring more than ephemeral happiness.” I’d enjoy a new BMW M–5 or a D-6 Cat, but I far prefer five, or even one, additional true friend. Such understanding is liberating.

Now on birthdays we give rather than receive gifts. Selecting the right ones, small but meaningful, is a rewarding and enjoyable task. I admit to a bit of envy when thinking of Foster and Lynn Friess’ 70th. They invited 200 friends to their home in Jackson Hole. They gave each couple an envelope and card asking them to nominate their favorite charity. $70,000 would go to the most worthy nominee.

Envelopes were opened at dinner. Every charity won, the total was $7.7million! The lesson? Build wealth honorably and pick friends carefully.