A Guide for Holiday Giving

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A Guide for Holiday Giving

By: John A. Baden, Ph.D.
Posted on December 01, 2004 FREE Insights Topics:

America is the most successful and prosperous nation in history. Personal tragedies aside, our afflictions are trivial. But not all good things go together. With wealth well distributed among our friends, we face the problem of finding gifts for those who want for little.

The parents of my generation suffered through the Great Depression and the deprivations that followed. To them, material scarcity was a reality. It branded their brains and they reveled in the post-WWII prosperity. Of course they were “materialistic.” At last, finally, they could buy stuff surpassing their dreams. And amazingly, as economic coordination improves, stuff becomes ever more affordable.

My 90-year-old mother, a retired teacher, believes every ranch needs a windmill. Several years ago, she bought Ramona and me one for Christmas. It’s a great gift that aerates our spring creek and ponds. I love it and apparently it fosters happy, healthy, well-fed, and sexy trout. Each spring there is a trout orgy in the redds. We, of course, named this pond Club Med.

Only Eagle Mount’s Camp Brave Heart kids may fish it. And yes, they can use worms -- indeed, anything but grenades for these children.

Mom gave us an inspired gift. There are lessons in why it worked. First, it was a very pleasant surprise. Second, I had to arrange its construction and placement. I invested my time and money and it became part of my life. Third, I see and hear it nearly every day. Fourth, each time, I think lovingly of mom’s lifelong commitment to wildlife and the improvement of their habitat.

This gift of a windmill links three generations to a small ecological system and enables us to share it with very special folks from Eagle Mount. For Ramona and me, it is a perfect gift. Home runs of this sort are rare.

People tend to consort, convene, and commune with folks much like themselves. They usually share common interests and values. Hence, we usually have good information about their wants, tastes, and limits. For example, while I may want a BMW F650 GS Dakar bike, Ramona assures me that I’m not yet old enough to ride one. And she further assures me that when I reach that age, I’ll be too old to handle it. Alas, I’ll never find one under our Christmas tree.

It’s relatively easy to buy gifts for women we love, things that come in small velvet boxes rarely disappoint. Likewise, gifts to a day spa and their associated accoutrements and procedures are usually welcome. Why one would want a hot-wax pedicure is beyond my understanding -- but I’m just a guy.

Recently my women colleagues were enthusiastically discussing just the above gifts. A friend who is a SWAT team instructor happened to come in and announced he had a very special gift for me, 100 rounds of 308-caliber sniper rounds made for the Marine Corps. He assured me in my rifle they’d shoot a half-inch group at 100 yards.

I was delighted. My female colleagues were perplexed. How, they asked, could I possibly like that gift? How, I replied, could they possibly enjoy a hot seaweed wrap?

And there is a lesson here. Tastes differ and we are ahead if we can empathize with the intended recipients of our gifts.

But I’ve been writing about gifts for those who are relatively well off.

In contrast, the USDA just reported that “about 12.6 million families, or 11.2 percent of all U.S. households, had at least one member who went hungry or worried about hunger at some time last year.”

Today, many jobs barely suffice to keep a family out of poverty. For those lacking education or skills, the uphill slog of earlier generations has become a vertical wall.

So here is a suggestion for holiday gifts. It’s not hard to identify organizations that give to and try to advance the well-being of deserving, and not so deserving, poor people and neglected animals. After we’ve made our obligatory gifts to close friends and relatives, write generous checks to the Salvation Army, Heart of the Valley, and Habitat for Humanity.

Even in America, some folks and critters suffer genuine deprivation. We can help. Please do. And think carefully about your gifts.

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