"How were your holidays?" Just wonderful, I reply. I learned a lot about our community and I'd like to share because stories influence behavior.

Just before Christmas, Ramona and I returned from a 10-day business trip to New York City. When we got home it was minus 13 degrees and huge drifts blocked our lower meadow. Although there was plenty of grass, 42 horses wanted hay.

I spent three hours on an open tractor plowing out the gateway. Moving wind-packed snow to feed livestock is a satisfying, inherently worthwhile activity. What a contrast with our enjoyable but alien time in New York.

On Christmas Eve evening, we headed to church for the 9 o'clock service. Six miles from home, I turned toward town -- and slid into the borrow pit. We were really stuck. I hooked a tow line to the rear hitch and waited.

No vehicles were in sight. But soon a staggered lot of seven came by. Six stopped. All offered assistance. I love Montana.

The first was a small Mazda with two guys in their early 20s. They bailed out in shirt sleeves and asked how they could help. One said, "This is a hell of a time for me to wear Birkenstocks."

I thanked them but said we'd wait for a 4x4. Strangely, against all laws of Montana probability, the next four vehicles were also mere cars. A neighbor driving a large station wagon did a U-turn and offered to tie on. But still no pickups or SUVs.

Finally, a young woman in a Dodge Durango stopped. "May I help?" she asked. "Sure, I'm grateful." "Why don't you drive?" she asked. I did and within a minute we were free.

This is the way the world should work - and how folks here normally respond. Such neighborliness is a defining characteristic of rural life. We're all losers when failing to respond to those in need. Unfortunately, we may well lose -- victims of our progress, prosperity, and growth.

The son of a friend was home from college. For a holiday job, he was delivering packages. On a subzero night while in an expensive, hilly new development, he also slid off the road. He was ill prepared for conditions and spent 40 minutes trying to dig himself out with his only tool, a Frisbee. Naturally, he failed to free his car from the drift.

Cold, coatless, and on the edge of hypothermia, he went to the nearest house and asked to use the phone to call for help. He was denied entrance to the warm house and his phone request was refused. He walked on until he found a more accommodating, socially responsible family. He survived with fingers and toes intact but his view of our changing community was altered for the worse. I'm sorry for him - and for us.

His experience exemplifies how our economy and culture are transformed as people arrive with expectations unaligned to our traditions.

Were we in New York, I'd not be surprised by the negative response to the plight of my friend's son. It's rational to be wary in such an environment. But not here. Not yet. However, it will require conscious efforts, admonitions, and examples to retain our culture of mutuality.

Some 20-plus years ago my neighbor's cows were marooned by a severe blizzard. Even with his tractor chained up, he couldn't get in to feed. I still had a logging cat and my neighbor came by asking if I'd use my cat to bust through the drifts and tow his tractor and hay wagon to the cows. The wind chill was minus-50 and his critters were in tough shape.

I like my neighbor but even if I didn't, I had no choice. Of course I'd help - and there certainly was no expectation of cash payment. To refuse his request would be an unpardonable breach of cultural norms. However, reciprocity was implicit. Were we in a fix, he would respond in kind.

The attraction of rural areas includes these expectations of cooperation. This culture evolved through harsh physical filters that isolated and penalized those unresponsive to the needs of others.

Today, the necessity of cooperation is far less compelling. Yet, the night when we were stuck, six of seven vehicles stopped to help. That's a great score. I pray our and other rural areas in transition will keep winning.

Pass it on.

This column originated with Bridge News.